My rudeness? Contrary to what it looked like, I was not texting during the movie. I was giving myself life sustaining insulin for the popcorn I had just consumed.
My tardiness? I was on my way out, but then I realized that I didn’t have enough insulin left in my pump to get through the day so I had to stop and change my infusion set before I left.
My irritability? I’m sorry, that was not personal, that happens sometimes when my blood sugar drops so low that I can barely think straight.
My tiredness? It was a rough night, being continuously woken up by my CGM vibrating on my nightstand for a high blood sugar, and then low, and then high again.
My cautiousness? I want to be as spontaneous as you, but I have a lot of considerations when it comes to my health.
My frustration? It’s hard not to be some days when despite your best efforts, your blood sugar just doesn’t want to cooperate.
My fears? There are so many unknowns, the potential for complications, and the worry that your best effort may not be enough.
My anger? You try living with this disease 24/7. Some times it gets to you. You think “why me?”, “it’s not fair.” Life isn’t fair but you learn to make the best of it.
My annoyance? That happens when you talk about diabetes without bothering to differentiate which type you are talking about, contributing to the confusion and misunderstanding between Type 1 and Type 2.
My awareness? From detecting how my body feels to predicting future situations, diabetes brings a heightened sense of perception, vigilance, and alertness.
My sense of responsibility? I developed that young. I had to.
My persistence? No matter what happened the day before, you don’t give up, you keep going and keep trying. Today is a new day, but it’s still a day with diabetes.
My determination? I want a long and healthy life, so I will do what it takes to make sure that happens.
My empathy? I may not know you or even exactly what you are going through, but I know what it’s like to struggle, I want to be there for you the way others are for me.
My patience? Change takes time. Hard work pays off, but sometimes it can take months before you see any results, but it’s still worth the effort.
My discipline? You just have to be, there’s so much to do and remember. You need to have a high level of self-control.
My courage? When you have no other option, you learn to face your fears and you become stronger because of it.
My openness? We all have challenges and obstacles that we must face in our lives. By talking about it and being open, we can learn from and inspire one another.
My quick thinking, flexibility, strength, preparedness, understanding, perspective, knowledge, focus, advocacy, direction, and hope?
My diabetes gave me all of those too.
While there are many negatives and hardships living with diabetes, there are also many strengths. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see them.
“Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires – disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way.” ~Bernie S. Siegel, American writer and retired pediatric surgeon, who writes on the relationship between the patient and the healing process as it manifests throughout one’s life