Dear Dexcom G4 Platinum (or Gigi for short),
I want to extend a personal welcome to you as you take up your new residency at Arm for the next 10-14 days. I know that the move was slightly difficult, especially one handed, so I’m glad to see that you are settling in nicely. This must be a big adjustment for you, being somewhere completely new, but I think you’ll enjoy the change of scenery while the restoration occurs at your previous location at Abdomen. I’m hoping that you will continue to stick around.
Gigi, if we’re being completely honest with one another, I was a little hesitant to allow you to move to your current location. It’s nothing personal, it’s just that the last occupant was a bit of a pain. I’m hoping that you and I won’t have to deal with similar issues. As you may have noticed, your new location is a bit more public. I’d appreciate it if you could lie low, but I realize that unfortunately, that’s not really part of your design.
I hope that you are comfortable though, Gigi. The area you are inhabiting is a little too cushiony for my liking, but perfect conditions for you. I know how you enjoy having that little extra to pinch. Your location is under continuous renovations; I’m looking for a sleeker, stronger look, but it’s a work in progress.
There is another reason why I’m writing to you though, besides to welcome you. I’ve actually had a few complaints from some guests about you being extra “grabby” and “clingy”. This particular complaint was a bit concerning from Purse Strap:
“I was minding my own business, attempting to disembark from Shoulder when Gigi aggressively grabbed me and I got hooked around her, causing me to yank her and eliciting a yelp from the Human. I was both startled and deeply dismayed.”
Similar complaints were filed from Shirt, Bra Strap and Sweater. I’m asking that you please stop getting caught up with our guests. If you can refrain from this activity, I believe that you will have a smooth and enjoyable stay at Arm.
Thank you for your understanding. I appreciate your service and trust that we will not have any more problems in the future.
Sincerely,
Management
Type ONEderful 