Category Archives: low blood sugar

Glucose Numbers- A Private Matter?

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Age, weight, height, blood pressure, cholesterol, A1c, eye glass prescription, these are all numbers that in some way either reflect the health of an individual or give us clues about the person. However, we share some of these numbers much more freely than others. Most people don’t really think twice when answering how tall they are, but if asked how much they weigh, people are much more hesitant to answer. Why is it though that we tend to keep our weight and other numbers more private? Is it because we fear the judgement that may be attached to our answers? That somehow that number sends a message that we may not like?

I’ve talked about numbers and motivation in the context of diabetes before. But now I want to talk about something else related to those numbers.

During my teenage years with diabetes, my glucose numbers became a much more private matter, probably much to the displeasure of my parents. My parents, doing their due diligence, would ask me what my number was before meals, when I complained of not feeling well, and throughout the day. However, in my teenage mind, my numbers weren’t really any of their business. “How’s your number?” would either be responded with “fine”, “its high” or “it’s low” (no more details than that), “don’t worry about it”, or often silence. When I would poke my finger, I remember hiding the meter in my case so that my parents couldn’t see the number. At this point in my D-life, my numbers were probably running on the higher side. Lectures about testing more, being better about my boluses, and the like were common during this time. I’m not saying that I didn’t tell them at all or let them help me when I was struggling, it’s just that in general I remember this time as being more private about that information.

I’m sure that in my mind, keeping a number to myself was saving me from disapproval from my parents, but also from myself. Because you see, a reading of 250 isn’t just a number. It’s a high number, a number outside of the range where it should be. And while sometimes it goes high despite doing everything right, it usually was outside of that range because of something that I did or did not do. Something that I did wrong. For me, there was guilt and blame attached to that number, there was a sense of failure connected to that high number. Answering “How’s your number?” with 250 (or on the other end of the spectrum, 65) is essentially saying, “Yeah I messed up somewhere”.

Now think about this from the perspective of a teenager. Your teenage years are when you are trying to prove your independence from your parents. A time when you show that you can take care of yourself, have more freedom, and figure out who you are. Answering “How’s your number?” with a high blood sugar would in my teenage mind, completely defeat that purpose. I didn’t want my parents thinking that I couldn’t take care of myself or do things on my own. I did need help getting my numbers under control, and that would take years, but I didn’t want that lack of control to keep me from the other privileges of my teenage years. So I often hid that number or gave vague details. Clearly this didn’t help with getting better control, but that’s part of the struggle of diabetes and being a teenager.

Somewhere between then and now, I began to see those numbers less as a sign of doing something wrong, and more as a clue to help me have better control. If it’s high, why is it high? Did I not give enough insulin? Was my carb counting off? Is there something else that could be affecting my numbers? Am I normally high at this time of day? How’s my infusion set? I don’t hide my numbers the way I used to. Granted, I have way fewer highs than during those teenage years, but my glucose number isn’t quite as private anymore. However, I wonder if I will ever completely be able to dissociate a high number from the feeling of guilt. But on the other hand, without some emotion attached to the number, I might not care enough about it to take action.

I had my mom read this post prior to publishing it. Her first reaction was half jokingly saying, “Oh that explains a lot”. But my mom, while acknowledging the feelings of guilt, has bigger hopes for me. She wonders if I can shift my perspective on how I view those high numbers and replace the negative with the positive energy of taking action. That way, I can work to release myself from the negative feelings of guilt, but still have the positive drive and motivator to do my best for myself and for my health.

I know it won’t be easy, but I do hope one day to not have guilt associated at all with my diabetes.

Under an Elephant

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My CGM spent the night under an elephant.

Well an elephant pillow. Gigi (my Dexcom CGM) has been getting on my nerves lately. It keeps telling me that I am low when I’m not. I recently switched the sensor from my arm to another new location (my lower backish area). Sometimes it takes a couple days for it to calibrate, but I wasn’t sure if the inaccurate readings also had to do with the new location. Either way, I felt like the past few days all I’ve been hearing is Gigi vibrating in my purse, in my desk drawer at work, and on my nightstand when I’m trying to sleep. It’s one thing when its telling me that I’m low or high, but when it isn’t being accurate, it’s just annoying. The way it’s designed, if you don’t acknowledge the warning (high, low) by pressing a key, it will keep buzzing at shorter intervals until you press a button. Sometimes I talk to Gigi in my head. “I heard you the first time Gigi, let me just finish what I’m doing.” It doesn’t listen. It was as if it  kept yelling at me, “Pay attention to me!”, “I’m here!”.  Actually my CGM is a lot like my puppy, Mayzie, always wanting my attention. Mayzie doesn’t care what I’m working on, it’s all about her. When she wants to play, you better play with her. Gigi is like that too. It doesn’t care if you are at work, at the movies, or trying to sleep, when it has something to tell you, it’s going to tell you!

Last night I had had enough. I just wanted one night of undisrupted sleep. My CGM doesn’t go off every night, but it does a lot. I figured that it would be okay for one night to not leave Gigi on my nightstand where I could hear it. I put it on the floor next to my bed and put my elephant pillow over it to muffle the sound. I had a very nice sleep without being woken up by Gigi.

The next morning I was in my car driving to work. I could tell that I was starting to feel low. “That’s odd,” I thought, “Gigi hasn’t made any noise”. In my head I began to chide Gigi. “Of course when I’m not low you vibrate, but when I’m actually low, you don’t go off.” I felt around my purse for my CGM to see what number it thought I was. That’s when I realized that Gigi was still in my room, under my elephant.

You know how they say that sometimes you don’t realize how great something is until it’s taken away from you? Well I realize that now. All day I wished that Gigi was with me, I didn’t even care that she would be vibrating. I dropped low two times, one was so low that my tongue and lips started to tingle. Gigi would have caught those! At another point I checked my blood sugar and it said 150. Well is that 150 on it’s way up or on it’s way down?! Without Gigi I had no idea! I missed Gigi. I realized how much I had taken her for granted, how much I had overlooked the incredibly important service it provides me because I had gotten caught up with the inconveniences.

I love my puppy and my CGM. Despite how annoying my CGM and puppy can be (and yes she can be annoying, especially when she thinks my arm is a chew toy), now that they are in my life, I can’t imagine it without them.

Good Mayzie
Bad Mayzie

Self-Conscious

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I’m not ashamed of my diabetes. Ask me anything about my diabetes, I’ll tell you. Oh you want to see what the infusion set or CGM sensor looks like? Here, I’ll show you. You want to watch me test my blood sugar or change my set? Sure, by all means.

I am open about my diabetes, but yet I have my moments. Maybe ashamed is too strong of a word, maybe it’s more that I become self-conscious.

It was a few months ago. I was a tourist in our country’s capital, spending the afternoon sight seeing on my own. All of the sudden I could feel my blood sugar dropping, and not the gentle kind of dropping. I took a pack of fruit snacks out from my coat pocket, ripped the packet opened, and poured the entire contents into my mouth at once. Yes, eating them one or two at a time may have been better etiquette, but sometimes etiquette goes out the window when it comes to diabetes. As I stood there masticating like a cow, I became aware of a man that was walking toward me, having witnessed the whole ordeal. He gave me a kind of confused look as he walked by. Part of me wanted to chase after him and tell him, “I don’t normally eat like that, I have diabetes and my blood sugar was low and I was feeling impatient!” but really I knew it didn’t matter, plus I was still working my way through the stickiness of the fruit snacks. It wasn’t just about that man though, it’s all the “inappropriate” times that I rip open that packet of fruit snacks and pour them into my mouth. I know it doesn’t matter what other people think, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder. What were those women thinking when I was eating the fruit snacks in the museum when it clearly said no food or drinks? What about the people at the gym when I have to stop halfway through my workout to eat a packet? In the waiting room of the doctor’s office? I mean they probably just think I reallllly like my fruit snacks, but I do wonder.

It was a few weeks ago. I was among a small group of people, gathered in someone’s home, listening to a community leader speak about his experiences over the years. Cheese and crackers, fruit, and cookies were served. I was seated next to this gentleman, everyone’s attention aimed just to my left. That’s when I realized I had forgotten to bolus for the fruit and couple crackers I had eaten. However, I was having one of those moments where I just wanted to blend in, I didn’t want to draw attention to myself as I knew pulling my pump out of my pocket and beeping away would. So I didn’t bolus then, I waited until our talk was over and everyone had gotten up. I suffered for my decision, my CGM showing my blood sugar in the 200’s and rising. I shouldn’t have cared, no one else would have. Or I should have excused myself and gone to the bathroom to give myself insulin. But I didn’t, and my blood sugars reflected that moment of self-consciousness.

It was a few days ago. I was shopping for some dress pants for my new job. I found a nice pair, but when I tried them on, I realized that the pockets weren’t real, basically just slits not big enough to hold my pump. “You can always just clip it to the outside of your pants.” I knew that, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want it to show.

I’m not ashamed of my diabetes, but I realize I clearly still have moments of self-consciousness. I’m comforted by the fact that I’m sure everyone has their moments, whether it’s diabetes related or not. But what I have and what I do to take care of it should not be a source of self-doubt or make me feel self-conscious. What I do is necessary for my health and for my life. I can’t let moments like these prevent me from taking care of myself. While I recognize that I’ve had less of these moments as I’ve gotten older, I know it’s something I still need to work on.

New Additions

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I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you to four new additions to my diabetes arsenal of supplies. It’s not too often that I add to it, so I figured they deserved an introduction.

1. Dexcom G4 Platinum!!! This one is a pretty big deal. I upgraded from the Dexcom Seven Plus about a month ago and I must say I’m pretty pleased. The new CGM is much sleeker, lighter, smaller and honestly prettier (it’s pink!) than the old one. I love that it has a color screen that has three different colors for when you are high, in range, and low. It also has new tones, although I keep mine set to vibrate. The vibrate mode is also much stronger, so I can definitely feel it go off in my purse or on my night stand, which is overall a good thing, but also occasionally keeps me up at night. I don’t like that the actual sensor is much bulkier, but I’m finding that the insertion is generally less painful since it is a smaller needle. Also, it has a 20 foot range instead of the 5 feet of the Seven Plus. I’m often surprised to see it still graphing even when it is on a different floor of my house than I am!

2. Gatorade G2- While obviously not a “medical supply”, this is how I’m viewing it since if it wasn’t for my diabetes, I would not be drinking it. With my current workout regimen, I have been dropping low during or after every workout. While I hate to be drinking sugar water, I decided that having the extra 12 grams of carbs during my workout might help prevent me from experiencing these drastic lows. Since its low calorie (45 per bottle) and only 12 carbs, I don’t feel that guilty, but I still prefer water. So far it’s worked for the most part, although I may still need to do some temp basal adjustments.

3. Level Life Glucose Gel– I’ll have more to say about these in a future post, but I have begun to use these gel packets for night time lows and really drastic lows. I was sent some free samples of the product and decided to give it a try since I usually just use my fruit snacks. What I like about the gel is that it is so fast and easy to eat. You just rip the packet open and squeeze it in your mouth. Since it’s a gel, there’s really no chewing involved and it works very fast to raise blood sugars. I’ve found them to be perfect for lows in the middle of the night, since I don’t have to sit there and chew my fruit snacks (and have some stay on my teeth overnight) and wait for my blood sugar to rise.


4. Bayer’s Contour next link meter- I’ve accumulated a lot of meters over the years, but I really like this one because first of all, look how small it is! Second, it has a back-lit color screen!! One of my biggest frustrations with my old meters is that you couldn’t see to test in the dark so this is a huge improvement! It also shows some trends since with every test you say if it’s before or after a meal, or no mark. Oh and it links with my pump.

Lots of additions the past few months. As long as it helps to make my life easier and keep me healthy, I’ll keep adding to my arsenal.
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Apple Snob

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Today I realized that I am an apple snob. Not an Apple snob, although honestly I might be that too, but the kind of apple that you find in the grocery store. I’ve known for some time that I am very particular when it comes to apples, but today it was confirmed. If it’s not a Honeycrisp apple, then pretty much forget about it.

I had just finished my workout and was experiencing another low blood sugar, 49 (ughhh!). One of the symptoms of a low can be hunger. However, I wasn’t experiencing normal hunger, it was this insatiable appetite that made me want to go into the kitchen and just binge on crackers or chips or whatever else I could find. I had already treated the low with my fruit snacks, but the hunger remained, like a bottomless pit in my stomach. When this kind of hunger from a low strikes, the best solution is an apple. Apples are healthy, filling, and satisfy that urge to just crunch on something. Luckily, I had one apple in the fridge with my name on it.

I took a bite. Woah, this is NOT a Honeycrisp. It was missing that perfect combination of sweetness, firmness and tartness. This apple was definitely not crisp and was not living up to the high apple expectations that a true Honeycrisp apple had set.

So how do I know that I am an apple snob? Because I couldn’t even get myself to finish the apple! Let me remind you that my motivation for eating the apple in the first place was not for taste or enjoyment, it was to satisfy the symptoms of my low blood sugar, but yet I still was refusing this perfectly average apple.

While I am quite aware that it is past Honeycrisp Apple season, I either need to track them down or find a suitable replacement because whatever imposter was in my fridge today is just not cutting it.

Time out!

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Blogging while I am really low is probably not one of my brightest ideas, but I feel like writing in the moment. I have lots of thoughts swirling in my head and I’m not sure if they are going to come out coherent or not. I’m just going to go with it so bear with me.

So there I am, in the middle of today’s workout. I decided to do one of the workouts that I haven’t done probably in a few months. It is definitely a difficult workout, but is more about strength and not as intense and cardio focused as the others. I was a little over halfway through and started wondering why this workout seemed so much harder than I remembered. I kept needing to take breaks, I was starting to feel a little light headed, and my muscles were feeling extra fatigued. Have I really regressed that much since I last did this workout?

I paused the workout and stood up. Whew! The blood rushed to my head and everything went white and blurry for a moment. Maybe I better check my blood sugar. I walked upstairs and tested my finger. 49. Eek! No wonder I was feeling so weak.

Sometimes testing my blood sugar reminds me of when kids hurt themselves. At first they seem fine, but then when they see blood or the physical evidence of the injury, all of the sudden the tears start flowing and then it starts to hurt. Once my suspicions were confirmed with that low number, all the symptoms of the low blood sugar seemed to hit me at once.

I walked back downstairs, got some fruit snacks, laid down on the couch, and grabbed my laptop. So here I am, sharing this experience with you while I wait for my blood sugar to return to normal so that I can finish my workout. How do I feel right now? Besides the symptoms of the low, I’m actually pretty pissed off! I hate having to disrupt the flow of a workout to treat a low. My heart rate has returned to normal, which would be fine if I was actually finished. More than that, I hate having to consume more calories after I just worked so hard to burn them off. I know I’m still building muscle and getting stronger, but sometimes it feels like the workout was a waste when I have to treat a low in the middle or right after. It’s even more frustrating because this is the second day in a row that this has happened, when it hasn’t happened in months.

Alright, I think my blood sugar is back to normal now. Time to finish what I started. My diabetes is disruptive, frustrating, and annoying to deal with at times, but I don’t let it stop me from doing the things I want to do. And right now, that’s finishing this workout!

50 Shades of Low Blood Sugar

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It’s hard to accurately describe what it’s like to have low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) without really experiencing it for yourself, but I can say that the feeling sucks. Low blood sugar happens when there is not enough glucose (sugar) in the body to be used as fuel for cells. Most people, whether you are diabetic or not, probably have experienced a mild form when you’ve gone a really long time without eating. Maybe you get a little grumpy or light headed. Now take that feeling and multiply it by 100. While some symptoms are more common than others, people with diabetes experience their lows differently, you just learn to recognize your symptoms. I’ve compiled a list of common and possible symptoms, starting with the ones I’ve experienced personally.

1. Shaky– my hands literally shake when my blood sugar drops
2. Light headed– kind of a dizzy, out-of-it feeling
3. Hungry!– It’s your body’s evolutionary response to tell you to eat and get more carbs. The lower the blood sugar, the hungrier I feel, even if I just ate a huge meal. More than I’d like, I find myself raiding the refrigerator and eating until I start to feel better and that awful low feeling disappears. This is one of the worst symptoms for anyone on a diet or trying to watch what they eat! And this over-treating can lead to high blood sugar and a seemingly endless roller coaster of ups and downs.
4. Lethargic– Sometimes it feels like my limbs have become really heavy and all I want to do is lay down.
5. Trouble thinking/concentrating–  It becomes really hard to put together coherent thoughts when my blood sugar is low, which was incredibly inconvenient if I was taking an exam or writing a paper in school.
6. Irritable/short tempered– This symptom I personally never noticed, but I’ve been told that I can occasionally get “mean” when my blood sugar drops.
7. Pounding heart/racing pulse– This symptom can be deceiving, often when I’m nervous or anxious I confuse the feeling with having low blood sugar.
8. Suddenly feeling very warm/hot– I’d imagine its kind of like having a hot flash? Nice when it’s cold out, but not so great any other time.
9. Numbness in mouth and tongue– This symptom freaked me out! It happened for the first time recently and I had no idea that it was a common symptom.
10. Confusion

11. Dizziness
12. Headaches
13. Pale skin
14. Sweating
15. Trembling
16. Weakness
17. Anxiety
18. Poor coordination
19. Nightmares or bad dreams– that’s interesting, I actually didn’t know that one (thanks WebMD)
20. Skin becomes cold and clammy
21. Drowsiness
22. Sleep disturbances
23. Blurred vision
24. Slurred speech
25. Depressed mood
26. Restlessness
27. Personality changes
28. Tingling in hands or feet
29. Frequent sighing
30. Nausea or vomiting– for me, this is a symptom of high blood sugar, not low, but apparently it happens to people

So these next few I’ve personally never experienced (and hope to never!), but it is what happens if a person’s blood sugar drops dangerously low:

31. Passing out/unconsciousness
32. Seizures
33. Coma

Not quite 50 symptoms, but there are definitely a lot.

While I try to avoid having low blood sugar, I have accepted it as part of being diabetic. And while I don’t think I can ever get used to the horrible feeling, I’ve learned to tolerate it. However, having an episode of low blood sugar might be the most disruptive part of having diabetes. Sure it takes time to test your blood sugar or give insulin, but we’re talking less than a couple minutes for those tasks. Most episodes of low blood sugar last about 15 minutes before I start to feel normal again. That’s 15 minutes of not being able to think straight or concentrate, 15 minutes where your body feels shaky, weak, and light headed, 15 minutes of wanting to just sit or lie still. Most of the time I don’t or can’t completely stop what I’m doing at the time. I eat my fruit snacks and carry on with my life, but it’s not always an easy thing to do. And while I enjoy the taste of my fruit snacks, there’s nothing worse than exercising and working hard to burn off those calories to then have to turn around and eat sugar because my blood sugar had dropped.

Sometimes I will go days, maybe even a week without experiencing a low, but there have been other times where I will drop low 3 or more times in a single day. The scariest part is, you never really know when or where you will be when it drops low and it can become very dangerous very quickly, so you must always be prepared. That’s why I carry packets of fruit snacks with me everywhere. The best thing is to learn to recognize your symptoms so that you can react and treat it early before it gets too low. That’s one of the reasons I really like my continuous glucose monitor, it tells me when I’m dropping low sometimes even before I feel it. 

I’m sitting here trying to think of what kind of silver lining there might be from having to deal with low blood sugars. I could say that it has taught me to always be prepared and to expect the unexpected. But maybe, it’s more that sometimes things in life just suck! There’s no better way to put it. Having low blood sugar is awful, but it’s part of having diabetes and just something you have to learn to live with and deal with. I think everyone has something in their life that they wish they didn’t have to deal with, something that might be disruptive, uncomfortable, or unpleasant. Maybe you’re lucky and can find a way to deal with it so that it disappears, but for the rest of us that are stuck with our “low blood sugars”, it’s recognizing that sometimes even though life has handed you lemons, you can still have a great life.

(Images from DiabetesHealth- http://www.diabeteshealth.com/cartoons/)