How could I have been so stupid?! So careless. So irresponsible. So forgetful?

I was cursing myself for a mistake that I had made. One that I have only made about 4 other times in the past 13 years. I was in a rush to get to a friend’s BBQ, I couldn’t be late because I had the hamburger meat with me. I scurried around my apartment collecting everything that I would need, including my belongings for the weekend since I wasn’t planning to come back to my apartment for a couple days. Meat? Check. Pasta salad? Check. Duffle bag? Check. Keys? Check.

I got into my car, driving the hour to my friend’s house, getting there just in time for him to put the hotdogs and burgers on the grill. My friends began to arrive, bringing an assortment of delicious foods. I filled my plate and got ready to bolus. I reached into my pocket only to realize that my pump wasn’t there.

Where is it?! I ran out to my car, ruffling through my duffle bag hoping that it had fallen in or was in the pocket of the pants I was wearing earlier. No luck. I checked the floor of my car and all around, but it was nowhere to be found. I must have left it on my bed, forgetting to reconnect it after getting dressed.

I went back inside distraught. It was only 8 pm, I had the whole night ahead of me. It would be a 2 hour drive to go back and get it and drive back. Would it be worth it? If I went back to my house, I probably wouldn’t want to come back. There goes my whole night, a night that I was looking forward to for weeks.

“I have to go home.” I said, feeling defeated.

“What? Why??”

I explained that I didn’t have my pump, and I needed it.

“But you have Gigi right?”

I explained that I could test my blood sugar, but that I didn’t have a way to give insulin. My friend that’s a doctor chimed in, do you have insulin, what about injections?

Of course! I could give shots. I had a vile of insulin and a couple syringes just in case. While the thought of giving multiple injections over the course of the night was not ideal, it would at least get me through the night. I gave a shot for the food and a correction for my high blood sugar and waited. I watched as my blood sugar continued to climb.

My anxiety rose with my blood sugar. What if the shots didn’t work? I was starting to feel sick and told myself that if it didn’t start coming down soon, that I was going to leave and drive home. But sure enough, the arrows started pointing downward and my blood sugar began to drop. I made it through the rest of the night with injections and opted to drive home at 1 am knowing that I’d have my pump through the night.

I know we all make mistakes. We’re all forgetful from time to time. But essentially leaving your pancreas on your bed is a mistake that I hope I don’t make again any time soon.