The CGM Courtship

For the most part my continuous glucose monitor, Gigi, and I are inseparable. We’re attached at the hip, well technically more like the lower abdomen. Over the years, I’ve noticed that Gigi and my relationship has fallen into a pattern. As far as relationships go, it may not be the most functional relationship, but it is consistent. And by being predictable, I’ve learned how to make it work for both of us.

Mine and Gigi’s relationship cycles about every 2 weeks. And while the overall nature of the relationship may be the same, each encounter is slightly different.

Day 1: We meet. Again.

3a318-photo11Sometimes it’s been a while since we’ve  last seen each other, other times only a couple of hours. This first encounter has gone many different ways. Sometimes it’s smooth and painless. We connect effortlessly. Other times, it’s awkward and hurtful. On a few occasions, we have to start completely over, the discomfort and inadequate connection too much to bear. But eventually we make it through this initial introduction.

Day 2-4: The courtship.

These first few days together I’m optimistic, yet cautious. I can tell Gigi is trying to give me what I need, but she can’t completely be trusted yet. Our connection still new, we’re still out of sync. These days are spent aligning our desires. When Gigi tells me something, I often have to verify with another source. But these calibrations make us stronger together.

Day 5-11: The sweet spot.78db7-photo39

With time, we hit a groove. We’re in sync. We become completely trusting of each other. We are one. When Gigi tells me I’m low or high, I believe it. Gigi’s screen reflecting what I feel, the beeps and vibrates warning me of danger. I can count on Gigi to be there for me, to be fully present and connected.

Day 12-14: The beginning of the end.

Like any relationship, aspects of Gigi start to become annoyances. Gigi becomes a physical itch that can never quite be scratched, never feeling gratified in my efforts to find the comfort I once had. The beauty of our connection begins to fade, the tape that once held us together, no longer sticking. My distrust of Gigi starts to return. Sometimes Gigi just disappears for no reason, replaced by a signal reminding me that our connection is breaking and out of range. Other times, we don’t seem to be communicating at all, Gigi completely mystified and communicates only with ???. And the lies! Gigi tells me I’m low- 55, but I feel fine. When I check my other source it says I’m 155, how can this be?! But it’s not all bad. There are stretches when Gigi is perfectly normal, and its for this reason that I can’t bring myself to end things quite yet.

Day 15ish: The break up.

Finally, it all becomes too much. The distrust, the lies, the disappearing. Gigi can no longer be counted on to display the truth and be depended on when I need it. The physical discomfort grows. So I do it. I rip the tape off in one decisive yank and end things once and for all. The redness on my skin remains as the memory of the past 2 weeks fade. For a moment I savor the unattached freedom. But this feeling is fleeting, already I miss the valuable insights that Gigi gives me. I miss the comfort of always knowing where I stand, I miss the control that Gigi affords me. I miss Gigi.

And so it begins again.

Day 1: …

 

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