“Are you going to take that out now?” The pump trainer was staring at the purple, sparkly covered dexcom sensor that was still attached to my stomach. My old sensor. She had just helped me insert the new enlite sensor that integrates with my upgraded pump. Clearly in her mind, my old sensor was no longer needed.
“No. I think I’m going to keep it in for another week, see how the two compare.” Yes, it was a challenge. And I met her questioning look with my defiant one.
You see, I didn’t want to give up my old sensor, I loved it. And I trust it. And now I was switching to a sensor that to be honest, I have not heard great things about. I switched because of the benefits and upgrades that the newest pump in June will have. But for now, I was skeptical and reluctant to give up the security and trust I had developed with my dexcom.
I’m trying to think of an appropriate analogy that can help you understand the magnitude of emotions that is involved with this transition and what is at stake. It’s like ordering your favorite meal at your favorite restaurant. You know what to expect and you know it’s going to be delicious. But it’s more than that, maybe you’ve been eating this same food at this restaurant since you were young. It’s not just about the food, it’s also the memories and traditions that are tied together with the food. Now imagine that restaurant closed. You’re devastated, but you decide to try the same meal at a new restaurant with a slightly different recipe. You try to keep an open mind, but how can it possibly live up to your expectations?
So I wore both sensors, and every time I would prick my finger, I would compare the three numbers, silently rooting for my new sensor to be just as good as my dexcom.
And for the most part, the numbers were pretty similar. But every once in a while, something would happen that would make their differences even more pronounced. It would remind me that even though the meals may taste similar, the new one just is missing that special something.
But I reminded myself that the restaurant is closed, I have to make the best of the new situation, and while it’s not my beloved meal, maybe there’s something about this new meal that I too could learn to love.
So I did it. I said my goodbyes and took out my dexcom.
I’m going to be honest, I miss my old meal and restaurant. The new one is fine, but it’s just not the same. But luckily, there’s a brand new restaurant coming in June that promises to be even better than my old favorite. Fingers crossed.