Today’s post: As another Diabetes Blog Week draws to a close, let’s reflect on some of the great bloggers we’ve found this week. Give some love to three blog posts you’ve read and loved during Diabetes Blog Week, and tell us why they’re worth reading. Or share three blogs you’ve found this week that are new to you. 

I want to read every single blog post for every day. I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ll be doing for the next couple weeks. I’ve only scratched the surface with all these amazing posts and I’m looking forward to reading more. My blog roll has certainly grown this week and I know it will only continue to get longer. 

What I’ve most enjoyed about this week is all the different emotions that I personally experienced reading these posts. Some of them made me smile and laugh out loud. Some of them made me sad. Reading a few posts, I was scared for the person, but then happy to hear that everything worked out. Some made me angry! Angry at the mistreatment, injustice, and challenges that people had to deal with. Some heartfelt posts touched somewhere deep inside. Many posts made me happy for the person. Sometimes as I read, I was nodding along, thinking to myself, “I feel the same way!” or “that happened to me too!” I connected to the person and to their experience even though we’ve never met. But most importantly, this week made me feel supported. Your comments and tweets reaffirmed why I started my blog. This week has made me feel both proud and fortunate to be part of the DOC. I can’t wait to read more about your lives and experiences. I know this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 

Seriously every blog post I read was amazing, everyone deserves praise for courageously sharing their journey. And I admit that I still haven’t had time to get to them all. But here are my shout outs:

Day 1: Share and Don’t Share. Hannah’s post from Finding Balance gives both her and her mom’s perspective when it comes to what they would and wouldn’t want their endo to know.

Day 2: We, the Undersigned. Jessica wrote a great petition on Mastering Me to the Type 1 individual. A petition for you to live your best life with diabetes. I would definitely sign this!

Day 3: Memories. Kelly’s memory from Diabetesaliciousness got me really fired up. I couldn’t believe the trouble that her and her dad were given at a baseball game, what her dad did to stick up for her, and then how Kelly stuck up for her Dad!

Day 4: Accomplishments Big and Small. Adjoa from A Girl’s Reflections, writes “There is a choice in every diabetes moment, between acting out of love, or out of fear.” She writes a powerful post about learning to value all of her, including her diabetes.

Day 5: Freaky Friday: Jess talks about the common language of chronic illnesses on Me and D and her experience serving on a Teen Advisory board at her children’s hospital with teens that have other chronic illnesses. 

Day 6: Diabetes Art. Meri writes a touching poem to her 3 diabetic boys at Our Diabetic Life. Here’s an excerpt: “My boys, you are my heroes.  I am your biggest fan. Through all that life throws our way, Just keep in mind, “You can!””

What a great week it’s been! I can’t wait until next year’s Diabetes Blog Week!

Today’s prompt:  Share the greatest accomplishment you’ve made in terms of dealing with your diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small.

I see my accomplishments as building blocks to keeping myself healthy. They honestly all felt like the “greatest accomplishment” at the time. Instead of focusing on just one, allow me to share some with you, starting from the very beginning. (Many of these I’ve already written about so I’ve included the link to past posts)

1. The first shot that my parents gave me. It was in the hospital after being diagnosed. I hate needles, just receiving a shot was an accomplishment.
2. The first time I poked my finger. And then eventually being able to do it without crying or having a fit each time. 
3. The first shot that I gave myself. It was because I was too angry at my mom at the time to ask her to do it. But hey, anger as a motivation still did the trick.
4. The first time I had a sleepover after I was diagnosed. Being away from my parents when I had become so dependent on them was a big deal, even when it was just for one night.
5. Switching to an insulin pump and inserting my first infusion set. I passed out the very first time from holding my breath in anticipation. The nurse kindly reassured me that a medical center was one of the best places to pass out.
6. Inserting my infusion set without numbing my skin first. I used to use Emla cream (a local anesthetic) to numb my skin every time I had to change my set. The day that I decided not to use it was a pretty big deal.
7. Going to sleep away camp, both diabetes camp and non-diabetes camp. It was a big step to be away from home for an extended period of time and be responsible for my own care.
8. Deciding that it’s okay that people can see my infusion set (and later, sensor) at the pool. Realizing that I don’t need to hide it, despite the stares.
9. Taking care of my diabetes in college. That’s kind of a broad one, but an accomplishment nonetheless.
10. Studying abroad in England for 6 months with my diabetes and traveling around the world. Always an additional challenge traveling with diabetes.
11. Starting to use my CGM and inserting my first sensor. I still hesitate, but I’m getting better each time.
12. Switching the sensor to new locations on my body. Sometimes I can be a little reluctant to change.
13. Starting my blog and sharing my experiences with my readers. I don’t think I could have anticipated how discovering the DOC and blogging would positively change my life.
14. Having my A1c drop to the lowest it’s been in years at my last appointment. Even if it goes up at my next appointment, at least I know that I can do it.
15. Realizing that even though having diabetes is not easy, it has given me many other strengths.

I could spend more time talking about each of these accomplishments, but looking at this list (which still doesn’t include a lot of other diabetes achievements) helps me to realize that I truly have accomplished a lot in the past 12 years, many of which were not easy feats. I often get caught up in the day-to-day management of my diabetes. I get upset when I see the daily spikes in my blood sugar or when I have to treat a low in the middle of my workout. Taking a step back to see how far I’ve come since my diagnosis helps to put it all in perspective. Living with diabetes isn’t easy. Each day is a struggle, but I’ve come a long way. Yesterday’s mountain is today’s mole hill. A finger prick that used to bring tears and take 30 minutes now is now an act that I don’t even think about. In a way, every day feels like an accomplishment. 

It’s not just about diabetes though, it’s life in general. Your struggles now may become one of your biggest accomplishments later. These struggles and accomplishments are what help to build your inner strength and character. Big or small, they are what make you the person you are today.

Today’s prompt: Share your most memorable diabetes day. 

My most memorable diabetes day is without a doubt my diagnosis, but I’ve already written about that.  It’s been hard to think about a particular day or experience that really stands out. The experience I’m going to share may not be my “most memorable”, but it is one that has stuck with me.

One of my favorite spots

Where I went to college, there is an area of land called The Arb, which consists of 123 acres of nature. There are walking paths, an abundance of trees, open fields, a river, and beautiful landscapes. There are always people walking, jogging, picnicking, laying in the sun, and enjoying the outdoors. One of my favorite things to do while in college was to go for a walk in-between or after class when it was nice out. Sometimes I’d find a bench and read or other times I’d walk the paths. The Arb is big enough that you could walk into the woods and be at least 20 minutes from any of the entrances. It was a great place to clear your mind.

I always have fruit snacks with me in case my blood sugar drops low. They are in every coat pocket, backpack, purses, you name it. I remember a particular day during grad school when I decided to go for a walk in the Arb by myself between classes. I reached my hands into my coat pocket and felt the crinkle of a fruit snack packet. I started my walk into the arb, heading for a spot near the river. My blood sugar was fine when I began, but it quickly started to descend. This was before I had my CGM so I had no idea that it was dropping as fast as it was. All the sudden I went from feeling fine to feeling really really low. All I had with me was what was in my pockets (which didn’t include my meter).

I reached my hand into my pocket to pull out my fruit snacks to treat my low. That’s when I realized that what was in my pocket was actually empty wrappers. I had forgotten to throw them away and to replace the stash in my pockets. I didn’t have anything with me to treat the low!

I started to panic. I was probably only a 15 minute walk back to the Public Health School where my belongings were, but running would only make my blood sugar drop faster (or at least that was  my “low brain” reasoning at the time). I started walking quickly back towards the school. I looked around, I couldn’t see any other people near by. I became really dizzy, to the point where the leaves on the trees were blurring together.  I distinctively remember thinking that I wasn’t going to make it back, I honestly thought that I might pass out right there in the middle of the grass. How long would it take for someone to find me? Who would stop? Would they think that I was just sunbathing? Would my friends worry if I wasn’t in class? Would they think to look for me here?

I’ve had a LOT of lows in my life. I’ve had some that were just as bad as the one I was experiencing and some that were even worse. But what made this day memorable was that I was alone. In the woods. Low. Without a way to treat it. It was honestly my worst nightmare come true.

I made it back to the public health school, my head spinning and my heart racing.  I treated the low right away. However, that might have been the scariest diabetes moment I’ve ever had. Scary because it brought up all the “what ifs”. What if I hadn’t made it back? What if I did pass out? What if no one found me for hours?

Now, I make sure that I have a full packet of fruit snacks with me at all times. I always take my phone and if I will be walking somewhere alone, I make sure someone knows where I am. Having diabetes means ALWAYS being prepared. You never know when or where a low will strike.

Today’s prompt: “Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one’s daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don’t see?”

You asked me how things are going.

I said pretty good.

I didn’t know what else to say. 

Things aren’t going “bad”. I generally feel healthy. I don’t have any complications. I have had some disturbing lows and some uncomfortable highs. I felt nauseous, and dizzy, and disoriented, shaky, light headed, and weak, but I don’t feel that way now. I treated those highs and lows and I moved on with my life. 

Things aren’t going “great”. I’m frustrated. I’m confused. I’ve had enough. Sometimes I see my blood sugar go high and I don’t know why. I thought I did everything right, but yet there it goes, rising above 250, 300, 350. Ugh. Other times I kick myself because I forgot. I honestly got caught up in life and forgot to bolus until much later. That’s not an excuse, I know. But doc, it happens. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying! I know sometimes it doesn’t look that way from my numbers, but every day I try. 

You asked me about trends. Am I usually high around this time? Am I usually low?

Umm? Maybe?? You’re asking me to remember over 90 days of blood sugars, when I can barely remember yesterday’s. Yes. Sometimes I run high after dinner and before bed, but not always. Yes. I’ve been waking up low in the morning, but not always. It makes me sound like I don’t pay attention to my numbers, like I don’t care. That I don’t think about them. It’s not like that. My numbers are always on my mind.

I see my A1c. I know what you must be thinking. It is higher than you want, it’s higher than I want. But I do care. I care more than you’ll probably ever know. 

I’m not sure if you believe me, I think you want to. Yet, appointment after appointment we find ourselves in this same situation. Last appointment was great, a .8 drop in my A1c. Finally made it to the low 7’s. I’m not sure the next one will be so great. Don’t give up on me.

I don’t think my A1c is representative of how I view my diabetes. I don’t think it shows how much I do try and how much I do care. And all I hope is that you realize that too. Don’t use that number to label me in your mind. Yes, you can make generalizations about my self-management based on that number. But while my A1c may say a lot, it doesn’t say everything.