I sat in the car with that satiated, content feeling you get after a particularly satisfying meal. However, I was feeling extra thirsty, which was odd since the beer and multiple glasses of water should have been sufficient to quench my thirst. Tuning into my body, I realized it was the symptoms of a high blood sugar that I was experiencing.
I started digging around in my purse, looking for my CGM. I felt around in the endless abyss that is my work bag, but nothing was feeling familiar. My searching became more frantic. “Where is it?!” I thought. “It should be here!” Okay, well if I couldn’t find my CGM, I would at least test my finger so I could tell how high I was.
My hand went back into my bag, but again came up empty. Gigi AND my glucose monitor, both gone?! How could this be?? I started to panic slightly. I felt lost. Rarely am I without both my meters, no way to tell exactly how high I am and how much insulin to give. I could guess, but if I was way off, the consequences could be serious.
“I don’t know where my meters are, either of them. They should be here! I need them. What if I lost them?” Eyes wide, I dumped everything out of my purse, searching the surrounding area. But the search was futile.
“Relax,” said the voice of reason sitting next to me. “I’m sure they’re not lost. They probably fell out in your car.”
Yes. Yes, that would make sense. They’re probably in my car. But I don’t remember taking them out of my bag. But maybe they fell out without me noticing. I’m sure they’re there. Where else could they be?
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
The 10 minute drive back to my car seemed to drag on forever. I tried to enjoy the music and the company, but my mind was focusing on only one thought: finding my meters.
We arrived back at my car. I wanted to run and fling the door open, but I kept my composure. Of course they’d be there, what was the rush?
I opened the passenger door and picked up the coat on the seat. They weren’t there, either of them. I looked on the floor, in the back seat, between the seats, nothing. Defeated, my mind pictured Gigi abandoned on the side of the road. Who would find her? How would she be returned to me? Was she gone forever??
“I’m going to go check my office. Maybe I left them there.”
It wouldn’t have been the first time that I would have left Gigi under a pile of papers, out of sight and out of mind. We loaded into my car and drove across town on a mission to return my meters home safely. We pulled up to my darkened office, it was 10:30 at night and the only light was from the cleaning people finishing up for the evening. I walked inside, making my way through the darkness to my office. I lifted the papers scattered across my desk. Gigi! My beautiful CGM! I was so relieved. But where was my other glucose meter? I looked in the drawers, on the floor, and all around. It wasn’t anywhere.
I returned to the car, perplexed. It’s happened before that I’ve forgotten my glucose meter at home on my nightstand, where it sits over night. And it’s happened before when I’ve left my CGM at the office. But both in the same day?? I suppose it was possible, I needed to believe it was.
At this point I was feeling mad. I was mad at myself for being so forgetful. I was mad that my diabetes was being so disruptive, and in this case, I was to blame. Rather than being able to relax and enjoy my evening, I instead spent it in an anxious, sour mood driving across town. I was feeling bad for the guy I was with who insisted on accompanying me and for inconveniencing him as well.
“I’m sorry, I know this isn’t how we imagined spending the rest of the evening. Thank you for coming with me.”
“You don’t need to apologize. We got to go on an adventure together. I know you’ll find the other meter too.”
I drove home, ran up the stairs, and went straight to my bedroom. Sitting on my nightstand where I left it was my other meter. Relieved, I alerted my mission comrade that it had been secured and that all was well (except for my blood sugar).
Looking back, I’m still upset that I managed to leave both meters separately in different places, but that’s not what I’m going to choose to focus on. Instead, it was the attitude of the person that I was with that has stuck with me.
There are lots of times when my diabetes has ruined or altered plans that I had. Maybe it was a low that made me stop what I was doing, maybe it was forgetting supplies and having to drive back and get them, maybe it was running around trying to find a battery because my pump had died, or maybe it was just having to make different arrangements to accommodate my schedule or needs. It can be annoying, frustrating, and upsetting. But as I was reminded, you can’t let it ruin your plans, or your mood. Every cloud has a silver lining, a forgotten meter is a chance to go on an impromptu adventure. I’m just glad this mission ends with a smile.