sensors | Type ONEderful

One of the tips that the National Sleep Foundation recommends for a good night sleep is to have a relaxing bedtime ritual. It’s meant to serve as a type of buffer to separate your sleep time from the rest of your busy day and to signal to your body that it’s time to relax and prepare for sleep.

I was thinking about my own bedtime rituals and how they’ve changed over the years. When I was very young, my bedtime ritual consisted of my parents coming to tuck me into bed and probably reading me a bedtime story. When I was a little older, I added a new piece to the ritual, my parents would kiss me goodnight and then kiss my stuffed animal too. These were simpler, pre-diabetes times.

When you think of everything you do before bed, some of it you do because you know it’s good for you and your health, some of it you do because you have to, and some because you want to. Brushing your teeth, flossing, washing your face, these are all ways to take care of your body and your health. Taking medication or checking your blood sugar before bed are important rituals that can’t be forgotten. Reading, listening to music, meditating, cuddling your partner or your pet, these are things that you enjoy doing. Taken together, all of these activities become your bedtime ritual, changing as you grow and age.

I started thinking about this topic right before bed because of my newest additions to my ritual. Every night after I check my blood sugar, I calibrate my sensor on my pump. The calibration lasts 12 hours at best, so I want to make sure that it lasts through the entire night. This is something that I didn’t have to do with my old pump, but I’ve gotten used to doing it. But then, I go into my settings and silence all my alarms for the next 10 hours. I had to add this piece to my ritual because while calibrations should last 12 hours, many nights it would last closer to 6, and I was getting tired of being woken up at 4 am to buzzing telling me to calibrate. And worse, you can only snooze that alarm for an hour before it will go off again. So your only option at that point is to go test your blood sugar and re-calibrate, or continue to snooze and be woken up every hour. (Even with alarms silenced, it will still buzz for low blood sugars, so I feel comfortable implementing this work around every night).

But what category does this activity fall into? It’s not something that’s good for my health since essentially I’m ignoring alarms that are going off for a reason like alerting me of high blood sugars (although it is good for my sleep), it’s not something that I have to do, or something that I enjoy doing. This work around for a flaw in the technology has made its way into my nightly bedtime routine, but every night as I silence the alarms so I can get undisturbed sleep, I think to myself how I shouldn’t have to be doing this extra step. The failure of the sensors lasting the full night has resulted in more time and effort being required from me. It’s a small addition, but small additions add up. And instead of feeling calm and relaxed before bed, the little step adds a bit of annoyance and frustration each night.

There are many features of this Medtronic 670G insulin pump that I find annoying, this being one of them. But I’m learning to focus on what is within my control right now. I can’t always control when my pump is going to require a calibration, but I can control the level of interference with my sleep. Instead of feeling annoyed but this extra step, I try to feel empowered by my ability to make this device fit my needs and lifestyle instead of having its buzzes and beeps negatively affect my quality of life and sleep.

Really, my bedtime routine is kind of a metaphor for life itself. It’s made up of a combination of activities I like to do, some that I don’t necessarily enjoy but I know are good for me, and frustrations or challenges that I do my best to control or overcome. And yes, it would be simpler or more enjoyable if my routine was only things I enjoyed doing, but it’s the mix of the “want to”, “have to”, “try to”, that best prepares me for sleep…and life.

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F***!!!!

Anger is an interesting emotion. It heightens your senses, it gives you a physical reaction. It’s powerful. It can spur you to take action- for better or worse.

I’ve been feeling a lot of anger lately. But this anger feels different. I’ve been struggling to figure out what I can do with this anger, how I can channel it into something productive. Something that can solve the problem so there are less angry situations, something that will make me feel at ease. But what makes this anger different is that I feel completely trapped in the situation. It’s a situation with limited options to make it better, options that while might temper the anger, will have other negative consequences, potentially even to my health. I weigh these pros and cons and I feel a sense of helplessness.

With my new pump, I’ve been using new sensors. These sensors are what the pump relies on for blood sugar numbers to make decisions to give more or less insulin. They are what the defining feature of this pump is dependent on. These sensors are supposed to last 7 full days. This was already a disappointment as the sensors I was using before often lasted 10-14 days. In reality though, these sensors are lasting around 5 days on average before a new one needs to be inserted. And after day 4, for the rare ones that do last longer, they are becoming less accurate and need more calibrations. They end up waking me in the middle of the night when the calibration only lasts 6 hours instead of 12.

changesensor Yesterday, after wearing the sensor for 3 days, I got a message that the sensor was updating and then a message that said, “Change sensor. Sensor not working properly insert new sensor.” In that moment I was furious. I screamed obscenities in my head at my sensor and texted my boyfriend the picture of that screen with 10 emojis of the middle finger and angry faces.

So what’s the big deal changing a few days early?

It’s disruptive. It means the pump isn’t working to its full potential. It means until I change the sensor, I don’t have information about my blood sugar without poking my finger. So now I’m having to poke my finger more, I’m missing the data I rely on, and I’ll have to wait up to 2 hours for it to start again.
It’s a pain, literally. Sometimes the insertion hurts, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t like doing things that hurt more often than necessary.
It’s expensive. The faster you run through them, the sooner you have to order more. And they are not cheap.
It wastes time. Medtronic will replace many of the sensors, especially ones that stop working after only a few days. But this could mean being on the phone for anywhere between 20-45 minutes with the person. Then having to wait while they ship a new sensor out.
It’s supposed to work! Forgive me for thinking that the expensive medical device that I use is supposed to be reliable and consistent and accurate and cause less hassles, not more.

I understand that this particular pump is new, and by being one of the earlier people to get it, that there may still be kinks that they’re working out. But I also still feel like my anger is valid. So when I see that screen that tells me to change my sensor days before I should be, I get angry. But I also feel stuck because I made the decision to switch to this pump. And this is the reality. Can I get a different pump? Maybe? Might be a hard sell to my insurance who only covers new pumps every 3-5 years. Do I really want a different pump? I don’t know. When it’s working, the pump is great and truly is cutting edge.

So I’m stuck with a strong emotion that I don’t know how to productively channel. I’m pretty sure yelling F*** every time it happens doesn’t count. So what am I doing, what can I do about it? I’m speaking up. I’m telling my doctors what I’m experiencing, I’m blogging and telling you about it. I’m telling my Medtronic trainer. I’m telling anyone who asks me about the pump and is considering switching themselves. If improvements are going to be made, the company needs to know what’s not working. If people are going to switch to this pump (which I still encourage for all the benefits it does bring), I think they should be informed about the downsides too and have realistic expectations.

And until improvements are made, I’ll deal with my anger. And be thankful that I work from home when that involuntary “F***!” sneaks out after another sensor fails.